Sometimes faith is hard

Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see.

Hebrews 11:1

     That verse is one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  It helps me remember that God always has a plan for us, we just have to have faith and wait on Him to see what it is.  But, sometimes faith is hard.  Sometimes, no a lot of times, I have more questions than answers and I want to fix things myself.  I want things to be fair (in my eyes).  My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are going through a situation right now that really tests all of our faith.  It's a situation that makes me really angry and causes me to have lots of questions.  They have not been able to have children on their own.  About a month after E was born, back in the summer of 2009, they got a call out of the blue to come to the police station to pick up a little boy.  This little boy had been removed from an apartment that was being used as a meth lab.  His father told the police to call my sister-in-law because he had know her family since he was a child.  So, all of a sudden they now had custody of a 20 month old who could only say 4 words, would only eat loaf bread, and carried his sippy cup around as a security blanket.  For the past almost 2 years they have loved this little boy.  The difference in him is absolutely amazing!  You can tell when a child is loved and cared for instead of just left to fend for himself.  Anyway, after about a year his mother was allowed to have supervised visitations.  Then she was allowed to have overnight visitations.  Then weekend visitations.  After some of these visits, strange bruises would show up (in the shape of fingers on his leg) and he would cry and cry when he found out it was time for him to have another visitation.  Then, one day a few months ago (after he had been picked up for his weekend visitation) the DHS worker called and informed my sister-in-law that he had been given back to his mother.  She wasn't told beforehand so she could tell him goodbye or pack his clothes or anything.  There was no court, no drug testings, no home inspection to make sure his mother had what he needed at home....nothing but a phone call.  So, over the past 2 months my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have gotten weekend visitations a few times a month.  Yesterday, they went back to court to get a final ruling on his case.  The judge, of course, ruled in favor of him being placed back with his mother full time with only 2 more visitations and then no more contact.

     This situation makes me so angry.  How can someone decide a child would be better with a mother who has already lost permanent custody of another child because of drugs, can't hold down a job, tested positive for amphetamines in court (yes, that's right), and the list goes on and on?  I know that God has a plan for this little boy, I just wish I could see what it is right now.  I want to see that he is going to be okay.  I want to see that he isn't going to be abused or subjected to all the junk he has already been through.  So, yes, sometimes faith is really hard.  I am anxious to see how this situation turns out.  The Bible promises that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.  I just have to know that this is going to lead to something really good for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.

I love you but I hate you

     I have a love hate relationship with springtime.  Say what?  I bet you thought this was going to be some really juicy post about love didn't you?  Ha!  Nope, it's just about the weather (and a windy mishap, but I'll get to that later).  So, back to Spring.  I love it for a lot of reasons like perfect temperatures, new flowers, more sunshine, and no more winter clothes.  It's actually the only time of year down here in the South that you can spend more than 3 minutes outside without breaking a sweat.  But, at the same time I don't like it because I always get so antsy.  I want to change something every single spring.  By now, Clint knows the grumpy wife is coming once the 1st nice week gets here.  I want to buy new furniture.  No, go on vacation.  No, move to the beach.  No, rearrange the whole house.  No....well, you get the picture.  I'm proud to report that I have been pretty successful at controlling the crazy spring lunatic this year.  We are about to start building a new house, I planned a beach vacation for us (NEXT week!!), and we really do need a new coffee table so that's a legit furniture purchase.  This really has no purpose except to say that I have almost survived spring and remained completely sane!
     Ok, now to the windy mishap I mentioned earlier.  Did you know that it is possible to feel like a complete idiot due to a little breeze?  Well, it can happen.  I bet you're thinking skirts or hair or something like that, but you're wrong.  Here's what happened.  The hubs and I were out wasting a little time shopping and we pulled into a parking spot.  We opened the car doors to get out and at that exact moment a gust of wind blew the car doors out of our hands and into the 2 cars next to us.  Yep, we had a car accident and we weren't even moving!  If you ever want to feel crazy try writing a note to the owner of the car you just dented and blame it on the wind.  Ahem, "Dear Car Owner, I am so sorry that the wind made my door jump out of my hand and dent your car, knock your mirror off, and scratch your paint.  I promise I will pay for the damages if you call me at the number below.  Sorry again for the wind!"  Clint was able to fix my car, but we did have to pay for the other vehicles.  Ahhh, springtime.....

Oh boy!

     The Terrible Two's have officially hit our household and I'm not a fan!  I have been noticing over the past several weeks that E has gotten more and more opinionated about what he wants and doesn't want to do.  Last week he started having extreme meltdowns (temper tantrums?) when he didn't get his way.  All I can say is yikes!  I am not looking forward to my sweet little guy turning into a stubborn kid.  All in all E is a really easy child to deal with.  He is usually very well behaved when we go somewhere and he really doesn't act up much at home either.  Maybe I was secretly hoping we would just bypass the terrible two's!  I know, fat chance.  So, if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this stage PLEASE feel free to pass it along!
     On a more cheerful note, we decided to take E to a local reservoir today to see the boats and walk on the pier.  There happened to be a family of ducks there so he got to feed them, which he loved!  Here is a picture of him calling the ducks (aka...scaring the daylights out of them).

And then a picture of my 2 most favorite guys!  (Complete with E's crazy cheesy smile)

3 Little Pigs, and a Backhoe

     Attention everyone!  I have some shocking news to tell you.  You might want to sit down for this!  Apparently, we have all been telling the story of The Three Little Pigs wrong for all these years.  Can you believe it?  Yep, I'm as shocked as you are.  Fortunately, from here on out we can all get our stories straight and tell it the way it really happened.  According to E, here's what really happened with those little pigs.

Big Bad Wolf:  "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
Little Pig:  "Not by the hair on my chiny chin chin!"  (how do you even spell chiny?)
Big Bad Wolf:  "Then I'll huff!  And I'll puff!  And I'll tear your house down with a backhoe!"
(Repeat for 2 more houses)  The End.

     Now that you know the real story, hope you enjoyed it!

Warning....overly emotional Momma on the loose

     For some reason I have been extremely emotional this past week.  I really don't know what has triggered this weepy, sentimental mood I'm in.  Two days after E was born I was sitting in my hospital room by myself holding him and just looking at him sleep.  All of a sudden I burst into tears like a crazy, hormonal lunatic!  I was crying because my baby was going to grow up one day and I didn't want him to.  Hello, can you say crazy?!  Anyway, I really haven't had very many of those moments since then...until this week.  Maybe it all started on Sunday when we decided it was time to start breaking the paci habit.  To fill you in a little, my child looks like he's about 3 instead of only 1 1/2.  He's taller than all the kids his age and he talks more than most of the kids his age, so everyone just assumes he's a 3 year old wearing diapers and still sucking a paci.  So, back to Sunday.  We got him all excited about getting rid of his paci by tying it to some balloons and letting it float into the sky.  Clint walked with E to let the balloons go while I took pictures.  I started crying like a baby, all because MY baby was growing up.  The unreasonable crying has just escalated from there!  I cried at supper the other night because we had to fuss at E for something and he turned to me in tears and said "I sowry Momma, I sowry."  Then, a few days ago I changed his diaper and as we were walking up the hall he stopped and said "Hey Momma, I lost my shoe."  Sure enough, his shoe was missing.  Another sign my baby is growing up.  Disclaimer:  I'm seriously not lying when I quote what he says, he really does talk A LOT!
     Anyway, to make a long story post short this has gotten me thinking about how I want E to remember his childhood.  I want him to look back one day and say that he really did have a good childhood.  So, I decided to take an idea my sister-in-law gave me and change it up a little bit.  I decided to write my own rules for how to really love a child.
How to Really Love a Child:
*Teach them to love Jesus * Laugh a lot * Eat together * Pray together * Make mud pies * Splash in the puddles * Let them make a mess * Take time to listen * Sing songs * Let them help you * Don't yell * Look for bugs * Say I Love You every chance you get * Kiss boo boos * Blow bubbles * Teach them to be kind * Play games * Read stories * Love unconditionally * Never miss an opportunity to make a memory *

The stuff no one tells you about

     I have discovered over the past 2 years that there are things about parenting that no one tells you about.  Before you have kids you hear all the ooey gooey mushy stuff about how wonderful children are.  Don't get me wrong, all that stuff is true.  But, people fail to warn you about all the yucky stuff that comes with having children.  Nobody is brave enough to tell you that you will be cleaning barfed up corn dogs out of your rug or washing your sheets a ridiculous number of times because overnight diapers do NOT work well.  Oh, and how about the fact that no matter when or where you sit down to eat your child will always pick that moment to poop!  Nope, I'm pretty darn sure that I was never told that I would need to leave a family dinner to strip my child down and bathe him because of what what in his pants!  Gross, I know.  So, for all of you non parents out there this is your official warning...Parenting is gross!  It is wonderful and absolutely worth it, but it is definitely very yucky at times.  Now to prove that having kids is worth everything you endure, here is a picture of my sweet little man to make you smile!