Sometimes faith is hard

Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see.

Hebrews 11:1

     That verse is one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  It helps me remember that God always has a plan for us, we just have to have faith and wait on Him to see what it is.  But, sometimes faith is hard.  Sometimes, no a lot of times, I have more questions than answers and I want to fix things myself.  I want things to be fair (in my eyes).  My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are going through a situation right now that really tests all of our faith.  It's a situation that makes me really angry and causes me to have lots of questions.  They have not been able to have children on their own.  About a month after E was born, back in the summer of 2009, they got a call out of the blue to come to the police station to pick up a little boy.  This little boy had been removed from an apartment that was being used as a meth lab.  His father told the police to call my sister-in-law because he had know her family since he was a child.  So, all of a sudden they now had custody of a 20 month old who could only say 4 words, would only eat loaf bread, and carried his sippy cup around as a security blanket.  For the past almost 2 years they have loved this little boy.  The difference in him is absolutely amazing!  You can tell when a child is loved and cared for instead of just left to fend for himself.  Anyway, after about a year his mother was allowed to have supervised visitations.  Then she was allowed to have overnight visitations.  Then weekend visitations.  After some of these visits, strange bruises would show up (in the shape of fingers on his leg) and he would cry and cry when he found out it was time for him to have another visitation.  Then, one day a few months ago (after he had been picked up for his weekend visitation) the DHS worker called and informed my sister-in-law that he had been given back to his mother.  She wasn't told beforehand so she could tell him goodbye or pack his clothes or anything.  There was no court, no drug testings, no home inspection to make sure his mother had what he needed at home....nothing but a phone call.  So, over the past 2 months my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have gotten weekend visitations a few times a month.  Yesterday, they went back to court to get a final ruling on his case.  The judge, of course, ruled in favor of him being placed back with his mother full time with only 2 more visitations and then no more contact.

     This situation makes me so angry.  How can someone decide a child would be better with a mother who has already lost permanent custody of another child because of drugs, can't hold down a job, tested positive for amphetamines in court (yes, that's right), and the list goes on and on?  I know that God has a plan for this little boy, I just wish I could see what it is right now.  I want to see that he is going to be okay.  I want to see that he isn't going to be abused or subjected to all the junk he has already been through.  So, yes, sometimes faith is really hard.  I am anxious to see how this situation turns out.  The Bible promises that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.  I just have to know that this is going to lead to something really good for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.